When You’re the Problem: Self-Awareness for Managers

Even great managers can unintentionally harm their teams. You might think you’re being supportive, but your team may feel micromanaged, confused, or undervalued. Leadership blind spots - behaviours you don’t notice but that negatively affect others - are often the root cause. The good news? Self-awareness can help you spot and fix these issues.

Key Takeaways:

• Blind spots: Common examples include micromanaging, inconsistent messaging, emotional outbursts, and dismissing feedback.
• Why self-awareness matters: Only 10–15% of people are truly self-aware, but it boosts trust, communication, and team performance.
• Impact of blind spots: They erode trust, lower morale, and increase turnover. 1 in 3 people leave jobs due to poor leadership.
• Tools for growth: Use 360-degree feedback, reflective journaling, and anonymous feedback systems to identify and address blind spots.
• Action steps: Admit mistakes, apologise sincerely, and create clear communication channels to rebuild trust.

Self-awareness isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a daily practice of reflection, feedback, and growth. By addressing your blind spots, you can create a healthier, more productive team environment.

Self-Awareness for Managers - 5 Actions To Improve Your Self Awareness

Spotting the Signs: How Managers Accidentally Create Problems

Many managers unintentionally create the very issues they hope to resolve. While you may think you're being supportive, your team could be experiencing something entirely different. Recognising these behaviours early can prevent strained relationships and declining team performance.

Common Behaviours That Signal Poor Self-Awareness

One of the most frequent pitfalls is micromanagement disguised as support. You might believe you're helping by checking in constantly, but your team may feel stifled. Often driven by anxiety about outcomes, this approach discourages initiative and autonomy.

Inconsistent messaging is another red flag. For instance, you might stress the importance of collaboration one day, only to make unilateral decisions the next. This unpredictability leaves your team unsure of how to proceed, hampering their ability to perform effectively.

Emotional volatility under pressure can also be problematic. When deadlines loom or challenges arise, becoming visibly stressed or short-tempered can create an unstable work environment. While you might see this as a sign of dedication, your team may feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own workload.

Another critical issue is resistance to feedback. If you dismiss suggestions or react defensively to concerns, you signal to your team that you're not open to growth. This discourages honest communication and allows problems to persist unaddressed.

The numbers tell a compelling story. Research reveals that 71% of employees have encountered toxic management styles, and 31% are currently working under toxic leadership. Even more striking, 82% of new managers have had no formal training in management or leadership.

"Most individuals don't go into a management role with the aim of creating toxicity; it tends to be a reaction to the working environment they find themselves in." – Amanda Furness

Taking credit without recognition can also erode morale. Highlighting team achievements in meetings without acknowledging individual contributions leaves team members feeling overlooked and undervalued.

Unclear expectations are another common issue. Assuming your team knows what you want, without clearly communicating your expectations, sets them up for failure. This lack of clarity breeds frustration and anxiety.

Boundary violations often stem from good intentions but can be damaging. For example, contacting team members outside working hours or expecting immediate responses to non-urgent matters might seem like commitment to you, but your team may see it as an intrusion on their personal time.

These behaviours don't just affect individual interactions; they ripple through the team, altering dynamics and eroding trust.

How Leadership Blind Spots Impact Teams

When leadership blind spots go unchecked, their effects extend far beyond individual missteps. They shape the broader team culture, often in damaging ways. Poor self-awareness in leadership creates a ripple effect that can undermine morale, trust, and performance across the board.

Psychological safety starts to erode. Team members may stop voicing concerns, sharing ideas, or admitting mistakes. They might remain silent to avoid triggering an unpredictable reaction. While this silence can appear like harmony, it's actually a sign that open communication and creativity have been stifled.

Performance standards become uneven. Some team members might overcompensate for leadership blind spots by taking on extra work, while others disengage and do the bare minimum. This imbalance fosters resentment and creates unhealthy competition within the team.

The fallout is clear: 72% of managers have observed employees lying to cover mistakes, and the same percentage have seen colleagues cutting corners or delivering subpar work. Additionally, 68% have witnessed team members badmouthing others behind their backs. These behaviours often emerge when teams feel unsafe or unclear about expectations.

Trust begins to break down. Team members may start second-guessing leadership decisions, questioning motives, or focusing on self-preservation rather than collective success. This can lead to passive resistance, where team members smile in meetings but vent frustrations privately.

Communication becomes filtered. Instead of sharing honest feedback, your team might only tell you what they think you want to hear. This sanitised communication means key issues go unaddressed, and decisions are made based on incomplete or inaccurate information.

The business impact is substantial. One in three people have left jobs due to a negative work culture, and half of employees who rate their boss as ineffective plan to quit within the next year. High turnover disrupts relationships, drains institutional knowledge, and slows team momentum.

Stress and burnout rise as team members expend energy navigating an unpredictable environment. Instead of focusing on their work, they spend mental energy managing your blind spots. This leads to lower productivity, more absenteeism, and increased stress-related health issues.

"Toxic managers are likely to be found alongside a toxic workplace culture; they don't survive in workplaces with healthy cultures." – Amanda Furness

Decision-making grinds to a halt when teams lose confidence in their leaders. Important choices are delayed as people wait for clearer guidance or try to anticipate unpredictable reactions. Risk-taking and innovation slow to a crawl because the environment feels unsafe.

Perhaps the most troubling outcome is that blind spots become normalised. New team members quickly adapt to the unspoken rules, and behaviours that started as individual issues become ingrained in the team's culture. Over time, this makes change increasingly difficult.

Recognising these patterns is the first step towards addressing them. Once you understand how your behaviours impact others, you can take meaningful steps to rebuild trust, clarity, and a healthier team environment.

Building Self-Awareness: Tools and Methods for Managers

Previously, we examined how leadership blind spots can disrupt team dynamics. Now, let’s shift gears and explore practical tools and strategies to strengthen self-awareness and take corrective action.

Self-awareness starts with a deliberate effort to understand how your actions impact others and where you can grow. The most effective managers use structured tools to collect honest feedback and monitor their progress.

Practical Ways to Measure Your Leadership Impact

One of the most effective ways to understand your leadership is through 360-degree feedback assessments. These offer a well-rounded view of how others perceive your behaviour, unlike self-reported assessments, which tend to be less reliable.

Interestingly, only 10–15% of leaders are considered truly self-aware. Those who rank in the top quartile of self-awareness are shown to be 10% more effective in their roles. This gap highlights the importance of using objective tools to evaluate your leadership.

Here are a few assessment tools that can help you examine different aspects of your leadership:

Reflective journaling is another hands-on method to boost self-awareness. By regularly noting your behaviours and reactions, you can identify recurring patterns. Ask yourself questions like: What triggers my strongest emotions? When do I feel most confident? What feedback keeps coming up over time?

One-on-one conversations with team members also provide valuable insights into your leadership style. However, these conversations require a safe environment where employees feel comfortable sharing honest feedback. For instance, Netflix CEO Reed Hastings implemented an annual 360-degree written assessment where employees could offer candid critiques. He then addressed these points in a company-wide memo.

"The best way to get honest feedback is to reward people for giving it. If you make it hard to tell you the truth, people take the easy way out. When people have the courage to be candid, you can reinforce it with gratitude and curiosity." – Adam Grant, Organisational Psychologist at Wharton

Anonymous feedback systems are another option, allowing team members to voice concerns they might hesitate to share directly. These tools can help uncover perspectives you might otherwise miss.

Finally, peer feedback sessions with other managers can be incredibly insightful. Fellow leaders can spot behaviours you may overlook and offer practical advice. Once you've gathered feedback through these methods, the next step is to use resources that turn this information into actionable growth.

Using Resources to Improve Self-Awareness

Collecting feedback is only the first step. To truly grow, you need to interpret that feedback and create a plan for improvement. Resources like the Leadership Story Bank offer a wealth of articles, frameworks, and self-assessment guides designed to help managers deepen their self-awareness.

Self-assessment frameworks such as the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI) and Personal Values Questionnaire (PVQ) are helpful for systematically evaluating your emotional intelligence and understanding how your internal values influence your leadership style.

Behavioural pattern analysis tools can help you identify recurring themes in your leadership. For example, you might notice a tendency to micromanage during stressful times or withdraw from communication when faced with tough decisions. Tracking these patterns over time can reveal areas that need attention.

Incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine can also sharpen your self-awareness in real time. Even a brief moment of reflection before meetings can help you approach interactions with greater clarity and intention.

"Self-awareness is a never-ending journey. There is no quota for self-awareness. It's a tank that can always be filled up more. The key is knowing with confidence where you are, where you're going and how you're improving with every opportunity that presents itself." – Lee Eisenstaedt

Learning from leadership case studies is another way to gain practical insights. These stories show how other managers have tackled similar challenges, offering lessons that can help you avoid pitfalls and refine your own leadership approach.

Regular skills assessments are also valuable for identifying specific areas to improve. Tools like the Leadership Success Knowledge and Skills Assessment evaluate your abilities across a range of management scenarios, providing targeted feedback on where to focus your efforts.

Lastly, mentorship relationships can be a powerful tool for growth. A mentor can provide candid feedback, challenge your thinking, and help you refine your strategies for continuous improvement.

The most effective approach to building self-awareness combines multiple tools and resources. By regularly seeking feedback, reflecting on your behaviours, and committing to ongoing learning, you can lay a strong foundation for meaningful leadership growth.

Making Changes: Taking Responsibility and Fixing Problems

Once you’ve uncovered your blind spots through feedback and self-reflection, the next step is where the real effort begins. Acting on those insights to rebuild trust requires a mix of courage, humility, and a well-thought-out plan. How you handle this process will ultimately determine whether trust is restored or further strained within your team.

Steps to Admit and Fix Mistakes

The first and most crucial step is to openly acknowledge your mistakes. This isn’t about justifying your actions or offering excuses - it’s about owning up to what went wrong and recognising the impact on others. Admitting your errors shows vulnerability, which can, paradoxically, strengthen your credibility as a leader.

"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength." - Criss Jami

Start with a heartfelt apology that directly addresses the behaviours causing the issue. Avoid vague statements like, “I’m sorry if anyone was upset.” Instead, be specific: “I realise that by interrupting during meetings, I’ve hindered team members from fully sharing their ideas. I apologise for stifling your contributions.”

Set up clear communication channels to ensure team members feel safe voicing concerns. Whether it’s through regular one-on-one meetings, anonymous feedback tools, or team check-ins, these channels help clarify expectations and encourage open dialogue.

Tackle the root causes, not just the symptoms. For instance, if micromanagement stems from anxiety over outcomes, work on trusting your team’s capabilities while implementing better tracking systems. If poor communication is the issue, focus on giving clear instructions and confirming understanding before moving forward.

Follow through consistently on your promises to change. Your team will be watching to see if your actions match your words. If you’ve committed to listening more in meetings, make a visible effort to pause, listen, and invite others to share their input. Keep track of your progress and share updates with the team to show accountability.

Provide additional support where necessary. If your leadership missteps have caused confusion or skill gaps, invest in resources or training to help your team succeed. This demonstrates a genuine commitment to addressing the impact of your actions.

Picking the Right Approach

After owning up to your mistakes, it’s important to choose the right way to repair the damage. Different scenarios call for different responses, and tailoring your approach to the situation is key.

• Public or private apologies: If your actions affected the entire team, a public apology during a group meeting may be appropriate. For issues involving just one individual, a private conversation is a better starting point. However, if a private issue has had a ripple effect on team dynamics, consider addressing it with the wider group after the initial discussion.
• Formal feedback sessions or informal chats: Structured feedback sessions are ideal for tackling systemic issues, such as unclear expectations or communication breakdowns. On the other hand, casual conversations work better for mending personal relationships or addressing smaller, individual concerns.
• Immediate versus gradual actions: The urgency of the situation should guide your approach. For example, if your behaviour has created a toxic environment, swift and visible changes are necessary. For less pressing matters, a gradual approach with regular progress check-ins may feel more natural and sustainable.

Often, the best solution combines several approaches. You might begin with private apologies to those most affected, follow up with a team meeting to address wider concerns, and then establish ongoing feedback mechanisms to track improvements.

Foster psychological safety regardless of the method you choose. Your team needs to feel comfortable expressing their thoughts without fear of backlash. Encourage open dialogue, welcome questions, and acknowledge contributions when team members take the risk of speaking up.

Model accountability in your own actions. By showing it’s safe to admit mistakes and commit to growth, you create a work culture where everyone feels empowered to learn and improve. This transforms your leadership blind spots into opportunities for collective growth and stronger relationships.

Rebuilding trust isn’t instantaneous - it requires patience and consistent effort. Your team needs to see sustained changes in your behaviour before they fully trust your commitment to improvement. By aligning your actions with your promises over time, you can gradually rebuild the confidence and trust of your team.

Making Self-Awareness Stick: Long-Term Growth Plans

Developing self-awareness is not a one-time task you can cross off your list. It requires consistent effort and daily practice to prevent slipping back into old habits. For leaders, especially, embedding self-awareness into everyday routines is critical. It’s not about finding time for it when life slows down - it’s about making it a part of how you operate, even during the busiest or most challenging moments.

Here’s how you can integrate self-awareness into your daily life.

Building Habits for Regular Reflection

The best leaders treat reflection as a daily necessity, not an afterthought. Small, consistent actions can lead to meaningful change.

• Start your day with intention. Before diving into emails or meetings, set aside 20–30 minutes to centre yourself. This could involve meditation, stretching, listening to music, stepping outside for fresh air, or even taking a cold shower. Use this time to decide how you want to lead that day. Tools like the Eisenhower Matrix can also help you focus on important tasks, rather than getting caught up in constant firefighting.
• Set daily intentions. Begin each morning by asking yourself how you want to show up as a leader. Structured questions, like those from Marshall Goldsmith, can guide this process. For example, reflect on questions such as, "Did I do my best to listen actively today?" or "Did I provide clear and actionable feedback?" These help you focus on specific behaviours rather than vague goals.
• End your day with reflection and gratitude. Take a few moments to journal your wins and lessons learned. This doesn’t have to be elaborate - even a few sentences can help you notice patterns in your behaviour over time. As Rumi wisely said, "The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear".
• Seek input from peers. Regularly connect with other managers to gain fresh perspectives and identify blind spots. These conversations create a safe space to share challenges and learn from others’ experiences.
• Pause before reacting. Practise emotional intelligence by taking a moment to consider the impact of your actions before responding to challenges. Over time, this pause can help you avoid reactive behaviours that might harm relationships.

Tracking Progress with Measurable Outcomes

While daily habits are essential, tracking progress ensures your efforts are paying off. Measuring self-awareness might seem subjective, but there are practical ways to assess its impact.

• Monitor team engagement. Use pulse surveys or check-ins to track metrics like team satisfaction, psychological safety, and feedback frequency. These provide objective insights into whether your leadership is creating a positive environment.
• Track feedback trends. Pay attention to how often team members share concerns, ideas, or questions. An increase in voluntary feedback often signals growing trust. Likewise, notice whether the feedback becomes more specific and honest over time.
• Use 360-degree feedback. Conduct these assessments every six months to evaluate your progress in key areas. Comparing results over time can highlight improvements and pinpoint areas that need more attention.
• Log emotional triggers. Keep a record of situations that provoke strong reactions, noting the context, your response, and the outcome. Over time, patterns will emerge, and you’ll see how your reactions evolve.
• Set clear, measurable goals. Replace vague aspirations like "be a better listener" with concrete targets such as "ask two clarifying questions before responding" or "pause for three seconds after someone finishes speaking."

Studies show many people overestimate their self-awareness, making external validation essential. Informal interactions, like team lunches or one-on-one chats, can reveal blind spots. Pay attention to body language, participation, and tone during these moments - they’re often more telling than formal feedback.

A Culture of Growth Through Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is a long-term commitment, not a quick fix. By combining daily habits with measurable tracking, you can ensure continuous improvement and accountability. And when leaders model this kind of growth, it encourages their teams to follow suit, fostering an environment where everyone feels empowered to learn and improve. This ripple effect benefits not just the leader, but the entire team.

Conclusion: The Continuous Path of Leadership Self-Awareness

Leadership self-awareness isn’t a final destination - it’s an ongoing journey that calls for consistent effort and a sincere willingness to grow. The reality is, most of us think we’re more self-aware than we actually are. Research shows that only 10–15% of people are genuinely self-aware. This gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us underscores why cultivating self-awareness requires both humility and persistence.

The stakes couldn’t be clearer. Leaders who are highly self-aware are rated 32% more effective by their teams, peers, and supervisors. On the flip side, employees working under managers with low self-awareness are 91% less likely to perform at a high level and three times more likely to consider leaving their roles. These numbers don’t just represent statistics - they reflect real careers, relationships, and well-being.

At the heart of this journey lies humility. As C.S. Lewis wisely put it:

"In leadership, humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less".

Humility enables leaders to listen to feedback, acknowledge mistakes, and focus on their team’s success. When leaders model this mindset, it sets the tone for their teams, encouraging behaviours that foster trust and create a safe space for growth and learning.

But humility alone isn’t enough - it must translate into consistent, deliberate actions. Developing self-awareness is a daily practice. It involves reflecting on your actions, actively seeking feedback, and weaving self-awareness into every decision and interaction. The most effective leaders embrace this practice as a core part of their role, staying open to tough truths about their impact.

Self-awareness is the foundation of effective leadership. Every challenge you face, every decision you make, and every conversation you have is an opportunity to better understand yourself and how you influence others. The question isn’t whether you’ll face moments that test your self-awareness - it’s whether you’ll approach those moments with the humility to learn and grow.

FAQs

How can I recognise my own leadership blind spots and address them effectively?

Recognising where you might have leadership blind spots begins with building self-awareness. Set aside time to evaluate your actions and decisions, thinking about how they influence those around you. Honest feedback from your team or colleagues can be a game-changer, offering insights you might have overlooked.

To tackle these blind spots, commit to active listening, remain open to constructive criticism, and adopt mindfulness techniques. These practices can sharpen your understanding of how your leadership affects others, allowing you to make thoughtful adjustments that foster a more transparent and supportive workplace.

How can I build self-awareness into my daily management habits?

Developing self-awareness as a manager doesn’t require complex strategies - just a few intentional habits can make a big difference. Start by dedicating a small slice of your day to reflection. Whether you prefer jotting down your thoughts in a journal or simply reviewing how your actions influenced others, this practice can reveal patterns and highlight areas where you can grow.

Another helpful approach is mindfulness. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breathing and observing your emotions without judgement. This simple act can sharpen your ability to stay grounded and respond calmly when faced with tough situations.

Lastly, don’t hesitate to ask for honest feedback from colleagues or team members you trust. Their perspectives can help you uncover blind spots and better understand how your behaviour impacts those around you. By committing to these small but meaningful practices, you can nurture humility and enhance your leadership abilities over time.

How does self-awareness in leadership improve team performance and help retain employees?

Developing self-awareness as a leader can significantly influence team dynamics and employee loyalty. When leaders take the time to understand their own emotions, recognise their strengths, and acknowledge areas where they can improve, they lay the foundation for stronger connections and a more supportive, effective workplace.

Leaders who are self-aware are better prepared to navigate the complexities of diverse teams, minimise negative behaviours, and nurture an atmosphere of trust and teamwork. This thoughtful approach not only boosts team performance but also helps keep employees motivated and invested in their roles, contributing to the organisation's sustained success.

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