Know Thyself (Before You Lead): The Power of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is essential for effective leadership, influencing decision-making, communication, and team dynamics.

Want to be a better leader? Start with self-awareness. Research shows that while 90% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10–15% actually are. This gap can lead to poor decisions, miscommunication, and strained team dynamics.

Self-awareness helps leaders:

Make better decisions by recognising biases and emotions.
Communicate effectively by adapting tone and style.
Build trust and improve team collaboration.

However, a lack of self-awareness can create blind spots, emotional reactions, and deteriorating team morale. By understanding both your internal emotions and how others perceive you, you can lead with clarity and purpose.

Want practical tips? Use tools like journaling, mindfulness, or 360-degree feedback to spot patterns and improve. Self-awareness isn’t just personal - it’s a leadership advantage.

The power of self awareness to increase your leadership skills

The 2 Core Types of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness can be broken into two main areas: an internal understanding of your emotions, values, and biases, and an external grasp of how your actions affect others.

Interestingly, while 95% of people think they are self-aware, research suggests only 10–15% actually are. The correlation between perceived and actual competence sits below 30%. This disconnect often arises because many focus on one type of self-awareness while ignoring the other.

Leaders who develop both types report higher job satisfaction, better relationships, and stronger organisational results. The two are interconnected - internal awareness without external insight can lead to overthinking, while external awareness without internal grounding can cause impulsive decisions. Together, they shape how we understand ourselves and influence those around us, as explored in the sections below.

Internal Awareness: Understanding Your Emotions, Values, and Biases

Internal awareness is about stepping back and observing yourself objectively. It means recognising your emotions, identifying your values, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and spotting biases that may cloud your judgment.

For instance, being able to recognise early signs of frustration or excitement allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Similarly, knowing your personal values serves as a steady guide for decision-making. When your actions align with your values, you tend to feel more consistent and genuine. On the flip side, misalignment can leave you drained and can create unease within your team.

Biases, like confirmation bias (favouring information that supports your existing beliefs) or the halo effect (overvaluing one standout trait), can distort your perspective. Tools like the "Ladder of Inference", introduced by Harvard Business School Publishing, help leaders slow down and critically examine the assumptions and conclusions they draw. This process encourages more thoughtful decision-making.

To deepen internal awareness, practical tools can be immensely helpful. The Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI) measures emotional intelligence, while the Personal Values Questionnaire (PVQ) clarifies what truly matters to you. Regular habits such as journaling, mindfulness, or meditation can also help you track and understand your emotional patterns.

Research shows that leaders in the top quartile for self-awareness are 10% more effective in their roles compared to those in the bottom quartile. This is largely because they align decisions with their values, manage their emotional responses, and recognise the impact of their biases.

However, internal awareness alone isn’t enough. To lead effectively, you also need to understand how others see you.

External Awareness: Recognising Your Impact on Others

While internal awareness focuses on your own emotions and values, external awareness shifts the lens outward. It’s about understanding how your words, actions, and emotions are perceived by others. This includes observing non-verbal cues, noticing how your behaviour affects team dynamics, and identifying gaps between your intentions and their outcomes.

Many leaders assume that good intentions automatically lead to positive results. However, external awareness often uncovers discrepancies. For example, you might think you’re being direct and efficient, but your team might experience your communication as abrupt. Or, in trying to offer solutions, you might unintentionally shut down a team member who simply needed you to listen.

Paying attention to non-verbal signals, like body language or energy levels during meetings, can help you adjust your approach in the moment. This not only builds trust but also shows your team that you’re tuned in to their experience.

Seeking honest feedback is essential for developing external awareness. However, people often hesitate to share their true thoughts unless they feel safe doing so. Creating an environment where open dialogue is encouraged is key.

"For leaders, the first step in improving external self-awareness is acknowledging that [the process] is probably not going to be fun but I'm prepared to learn things I won't like and I'm going to do it anyway." – Tasha Eurich

Approaching feedback with humility and curiosity rather than defensiveness makes a big difference. Trusted colleagues - sometimes referred to as "loving critics" - can provide candid and supportive insights into your leadership style. Tools like 360-degree feedback surveys and regular check-ins also help ensure you’re aligned with your team’s expectations and can address issues before they escalate.

The best leaders balance internal and external self-awareness. By understanding their own emotional responses and adapting based on others’ feedback, they create a continuous loop of improvement. This approach not only strengthens their leadership but also fosters better relationships.

As Sheryl Sandberg wisely said: "We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change."

How to Build Self-Awareness: Practical Methods for Leaders

Developing self-awareness is not something that happens overnight. It requires consistent effort and intentional practice. Studies suggest that leaders who actively work on their self-awareness progress 30% faster in their careers, showing just how impactful this skill can be. By honing these practices, you can lead with greater clarity and purpose.

"Self-awareness is a never-ending journey. There is no quota for self-awareness. It's a tank that can always be filled up more. The key is knowing with confidence where you are, where you're going and how you're improving with every opportunity that presents itself." – Lee Eisenstaedt

The REFLECT Framework for Daily Self-Observation

The REFLECT framework is a practical method for building self-awareness through daily habits. It breaks the process into seven clear steps: Record, Externalise, Feedback-loop, Label, Evaluate, Challenge, Transform.

Record: Write down your thoughts and reflections each day. This helps align your actions with your values.
Externalise: Consider how others perceive you. This exercise can uncover blind spots and highlight any gaps between your intentions and the impact of your actions.
Feedback-loop: Seek regular feedback from trusted colleagues who can provide honest input about your leadership style and its effects.
Label: Identify your emotions accurately. Naming what you're feeling - whether it's frustration, excitement, or uncertainty - helps you respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
Evaluate: Assess whether your actions align with your core values. Misalignment can cause internal conflict and affect how your team views your leadership.
Challenge: Question assumptions using tools like the Ladder of Inference to uncover biases or flawed reasoning.
Transform: Make intentional changes to your behaviour. Start with one specific habit, monitor your progress, and adjust as needed for lasting improvement.

Even dedicating just five minutes a day to reflection can help you notice patterns in your behaviour and emotional responses. This habit allows you to pause and make thoughtful choices instead of reacting automatically. Over time, this practice also makes it easier to accept and act on constructive feedback.

Blind spots - those unnoticed behaviours or attitudes - can hinder your effectiveness as a leader. In fact, 89% of front-line leaders have at least one blind spot in their leadership approach. Addressing these areas can make a significant difference.

One of the most effective ways to uncover blind spots is through 360-degree feedback. This method gathers input from various sources, including direct reports, peers, managers, and sometimes clients, offering a well-rounded view of how others perceive your leadership.

Take the example of General Electric's former CEO Jeff Immelt. Feedback revealed that his insular management style was holding the company back. Acting on this insight, he shifted towards a more collaborative approach, which ultimately strengthened the organisation. Similarly, Microsoft reported a 17% improvement in leadership capabilities after adopting 360-degree feedback practices.

When receiving feedback, approach it with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Pay attention to recurring themes across responses, even if they’re uncomfortable to hear. Focus on one or two specific areas for improvement instead of trying to tackle everything at once. Seeking guidance from a mentor or coach can also provide direction and accountability.

Being transparent with your team about the areas you’re working on can build trust and encourage ongoing feedback. Companies that embrace this approach see a 14.9% boost in employee engagement, and teams led by leaders who act on feedback report 63% higher trust levels. Paired with mindfulness, these practices can further enhance your emotional awareness and leadership effectiveness.

Mindfulness Practices for Managing Emotions

Mindfulness offers practical techniques to help leaders manage the emotional demands of their roles. By cultivating mindfulness, you can step back from stressful situations, avoid knee-jerk reactions, and better understand your own emotions.

Simple practices can make a big difference:

Breathing exercises: Starting or ending meetings with a few deep breaths can reduce stress and improve focus.
Short meditations: Taking five minutes during a coffee break to quiet your mind can help you reset and concentrate.
Mindful walking: Spend your lunch break walking without distractions like your phone. This can leave you feeling refreshed and energised.
Body scans: Pay attention to areas of physical tension, which often signal stress.
Observing thought patterns: Notice your thoughts without getting caught up in them. This creates the mental space needed to respond thoughtfully under pressure.

Another way to practise mindfulness is by avoiding multitasking. Focusing on one task at a time not only reduces stress but also improves the quality of your work. For instance, close your laptop during one-on-one meetings or set specific times to check emails.

Mindfulness helps you recognise emotions as they arise, enabling you to respond with intention rather than reacting impulsively. Regular practice can sharpen your focus, enhance clarity, and strengthen your overall leadership presence.

Using Self-Awareness in Leadership Situations

Self-awareness isn't just a personal trait; it's a practical tool for leaders tackling workplace challenges. By understanding their emotions, biases, and triggers, leaders can handle complex situations with greater clarity. Research even highlights that leaders ranked in the top quartile for self-awareness are 10% more effective in their roles than those in the bottom quartile.

The real test of self-awareness comes during times of pressure, conflict, or uncertainty. These moments reveal whether a leader can stay composed, make sound decisions, and guide their team effectively. Such challenges aren’t just hurdles - they’re opportunities for growth and strengthening team dynamics. This approach is particularly relevant in areas like conflict resolution, storytelling, and managing change.

Managing Conflict with Emotional Intelligence

Conflict is inevitable in any workplace, but how a leader responds can either defuse tension or escalate it. Self-aware leaders are better equipped to recognise their emotional triggers, stay calm, and actively listen. This ability helps them guide their teams towards resolutions that work for everyone involved. It's particularly valuable when emotions are high and decisions need to be made swiftly.

For example, during a budget meeting where departments are vying for resources, a self-aware manager might notice a personal bias towards marketing initiatives. Acknowledging this bias allows for a fairer evaluation of all departments, leading to balanced decisions that maintain team harmony.

"The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: They all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence... they are the entry-level requirements for executive positions." - Daniel Goleman

Unresolved conflicts can also be costly - research suggests they waste about eight hours of company time per conflict due to gossip and other distractions. Practical strategies to manage conflict include taking a moment to pause and reflect before reacting emotionally. This approach helps ensure that personal feelings don’t cloud judgement.

Storytelling as a Tool for Influence

Self-awareness also plays a key role in storytelling, enabling leaders to connect with their teams on a deeper level. By understanding their own values and beliefs, leaders can share stories that feel authentic and align with organisational goals. Research shows that storytelling activates brain regions tied to empathy and compassion, making it more effective than data alone in helping listeners retain key messages.

Through storytelling, leaders can model emotional intelligence by expressing vulnerability and authenticity. Sharing personal experiences - especially challenges or failures - can build empathy and create a sense of psychological safety within teams. This connection pays off: employees who feel emotionally connected to their leaders are 55% more engaged and 70% less likely to experience burnout.

When crafting stories, self-aware leaders consider their audience’s needs, fears, and frustrations. They frame their narratives as teachable moments, often highlighting diverse perspectives or team achievements to build trust and strengthen connections within the organisation.

"The most powerful person in the world is the storyteller. The storyteller sets the vision, values and agenda of an entire generation that is to come." - Steve Jobs

Leading Through Change

Navigating change is another area where self-awareness proves invaluable. Change and uncertainty often come with emotional highs and lows, making it essential for leaders to understand and manage their own reactions. Research indicates that self-aware leaders are up to four times more effective at managing change than those who lack this quality.

"Uncertainty by its very nature has no clear right and wrong, and so self-awareness in uncertainty is critical; our emotions while vital can colour others’ reactions. As a leader giving people clear boundaries and guidelines empowers them to make good choices." - Jude Jennison

Self-aware leaders combine self-awareness with self-control, letting go of blame, judgement, and self-criticism to maintain a steady environment for their teams. During times of transformation, they provide clarity, set clear boundaries, and uphold core values to empower their teams. By managing their emotions, they help stabilise morale and keep everyone aligned.

"You can't be clear with others if you're unclear with yourself. You can't offer calm if your leadership identity is built on external validation. True calm comes from the hard, soul-deep work of self-awareness." - Lizzy Pérez

Effective communication is another hallmark of self-aware leaders during change. They adjust their style to build trust, identify emotional triggers, and present themselves authentically. This understanding of how their actions impact others allows them to lead with honesty, empathy, and clarity, fostering transparency and helping teams navigate uncertainty with confidence.

Conclusion: The Power of Self-Awareness in Leadership

Self-awareness stands as a cornerstone of effective leadership, influencing everything from managing conflicts to motivating teams. It’s the skill that separates good leaders from great ones.

Research highlights that leaders in the top quartile are 10% more effective, yet shockingly, only 10-15% of individuals demonstrate genuine self-awareness. This gap presents a significant opportunity for those willing to invest in their growth.

Developing self-awareness isn’t a one-time task - it’s an ongoing process. It requires consistent reflection, a willingness to seek honest feedback, and the courage to face uncomfortable truths. Simple habits can make a difference: keep a daily journal, invite candid feedback from trusted colleagues, and practise mindfulness to better understand your emotions. Tools like the Emotional and Social Competency Inventory (ESCI) can help you assess and improve your emotional intelligence. It’s worth noting that there’s less than a 30% alignment between how people perceive their competence and their actual abilities, making external input essential.

The rewards of cultivating self-awareness ripple across every leadership challenge. Whether it’s resolving disputes, building authentic connections, or guiding organisations through change, self-awareness becomes your edge.

"Self-awareness is a never-ending journey…It's a tank that can always be filled up more." - Lee Eisenstaedt

Ultimately, your leadership legacy is defined by how well you know yourself. That self-knowledge not only enhances your own abilities but also inspires and empowers those around you. So, the real question is: Can you afford to overlook self-awareness?

FAQs

How can leaders balance self-awareness within themselves and in how others see them to enhance their leadership skills?

Leaders can strike a balance between internal and external self-awareness by blending introspection with honest feedback from others. Internal self-awareness revolves around understanding your personal values, emotions, and motivations, while external self-awareness focuses on recognising how others view you. Developing both perspectives enables leaders to make informed decisions, connect more deeply with their teams, and respond effectively to challenges.

To cultivate this balance, set aside time for regular self-reflection. This might involve examining your thoughts, questioning assumptions, and evaluating your actions. Complement this with open, constructive feedback from colleagues or team members to uncover blind spots you might not notice on your own. Combining these practices can not only sharpen your leadership skills but also strengthen trust and collaboration within your team.

Leaders can tackle blind spots effectively by taking a few deliberate steps. One of the most impactful is seeking genuine feedback. Tools like 360-degree assessments allow colleagues, team members, and managers to share their perspectives, shedding light on behaviours and perceptions that might otherwise remain hidden.

Equally important is practising regular self-reflection. Activities like journaling or mindfulness can help leaders tune into their own thought patterns and behaviours. Pairing this with open and honest conversations with trusted colleagues can provide fresh insights while fostering an atmosphere of trust and openness.

By blending feedback, introspection, and candid dialogue, leaders can uncover hidden areas for growth and make thoughtful adjustments to their leadership approach.

How does self-awareness help leaders handle conflict and adapt to change within an organisation?

Self-awareness gives leaders the tools to navigate conflict and embrace change more effectively by sharpening their emotional intelligence and decision-making skills. When leaders understand their own emotions, biases, and triggers, they can approach tough situations with a calm and measured response instead of acting on impulse. This thoughtful approach not only helps in resolving conflicts but also strengthens communication.

By recognising their own strengths and limitations, self-aware leaders can adapt their strategies to suit changing circumstances. This flexibility builds trust and resilience within their teams, transforming obstacles into opportunities for growth and teamwork. Leaders with this mindset are better prepared to guide their organisations through change and encourage meaningful progress.