Leading Through Conflict: Which Style Works?

Conflict is part of leadership, and how you handle it shapes your team’s trust, productivity, and morale. In the UK, workplace conflict costs organisations £1,000 per employee annually and leads to stress for over half of employees. Leaders who manage disputes well can turn challenges into stronger team dynamics and better outcomes.

Here’s a quick breakdown of five conflict management styles and when to use them:

• Collaborating: High assertiveness and cooperation. Best for complex issues where relationships matter.
• Competing: High assertiveness, low cooperation. Ideal for quick, decisive actions in high-stakes situations.
• Avoiding: Low assertiveness and cooperation. Useful for defusing tensions temporarily.
• Accommodating: Low assertiveness, high cooperation. Works well to maintain harmony when stakes are low.
• Compromising: Balances assertiveness and cooperation. Good for time-sensitive, practical solutions.

Your leadership style influences how you approach conflict. Transformational leaders often collaborate, while authoritarian leaders tend to compete. The key is to assess the situation and choose the right approach, balancing urgency, relationships, and outcomes. By mastering these styles, you can build stronger teams and resolve conflicts effectively.

How Does Leadership Style Affect Conflict? - BusinessGuide360.com

The 5 Conflict Management Styles Explained

Conflict management is about finding the right balance between assertiveness and cooperation to handle disputes effectively. Dr Barbara Benoliel from Walden University explains:

Each strategy has its own benefits; there is no right or wrong conflict management style.

The essence of managing conflict lies in understanding that no single approach works for every situation. Effective leaders tailor their responses based on the context they’re dealing with. Here’s a closer look at the five styles and when to use them.

Collaborating Style

The collaborating style blends high assertiveness with high cooperation, aiming for solutions that benefit all parties. It’s about teamwork and problem-solving, often uncovering solutions that might not have been obvious at first.

A practical example is when Terry and Janet disagreed over prototype features. By combining their ideas, they created an innovative solution that worked for both.

This style shines when preserving relationships is key, and the outcome will have a lasting impact. However, it demands time and a willingness from everyone involved to engage meaningfully, making it less ideal for urgent decisions or when others are unwilling to cooperate. It’s a powerful approach for fostering long-term collaboration.

Competing Style

The competing style prioritises high assertiveness with little to no cooperation, focusing on achieving your goals even if it’s at someone else’s expense. This approach is about taking decisive action without compromise.

For instance, when a team-building dispute arose, department head Sophia made a firm decision to prevent further escalation.

This style works best in situations where moral principles are on the line, when quick decisions are required, or when an unpopular but necessary choice needs to be enforced. However, it carries the risk of straining relationships and reducing future team support. Sometimes, though, decisive action is essential to keep things moving.

Avoiding Style

With low assertiveness and low cooperation, the avoiding style involves stepping back from a conflict, often to let emotions settle. While it can prevent immediate escalation, unresolved issues may linger.

For example, Jake and Amy paused their debate about UX changes to allow tempers to cool, avoiding unnecessary escalation.

This style is useful when a cooling-off period is needed or when you need more time to gather your thoughts. However, relying on avoidance too often can let problems grow unchecked, potentially creating bigger challenges down the line. It’s a reminder that sometimes stepping back can protect relationships, but it’s not a long-term fix.

Accommodating Style

The accommodating style is marked by low assertiveness and high cooperation, where you prioritise the other person’s needs over your own. It’s an approach that values harmony and relationships, even if it means setting aside personal goals.

In one instance, Gina chose to support Raymond’s colour preference during a marketing meeting to maintain team unity.

This style is ideal when the issue isn’t critical to you, when prolonging the conflict isn’t worth it, or when you suspect you might be wrong. The downside is that overusing this approach can undermine your authority or contributions. Used thoughtfully, though, it can strengthen relationships and promote a positive team dynamic.

Compromising Style

The compromising style strikes a middle ground, balancing moderate assertiveness with moderate cooperation. Both sides make concessions to reach a practical, if not perfect, solution.

Take Rosa and Charles, for example. They resolved their disagreement about hiring a full-time social media manager versus boosting digital ads by opting for a part-time hire and additional advertising.

This style is particularly effective when time is tight, or when a workable solution is more important than an ideal one. The trade-off is that neither side gets everything they want, which can sometimes lead to less-than-optimal outcomes. Still, compromise is a reliable way to achieve practical results under pressure.

Each of these styles plays a unique role in resolving conflicts. The most effective leaders don’t stick to just one - they develop the ability to use all five, choosing the approach that best suits the situation at hand. By mastering these styles, you’ll be ready to handle any conflict with confidence and flexibility.

How Different Leadership Styles Handle Conflict

Your leadership style shapes how you approach and resolve conflict. Each leadership approach tends to align with certain conflict management methods, which can either smooth over tensions or, in some cases, make them worse.

Leadership Styles and Their Conflict Management Tendencies

Transformational leaders often lean towards collaborating or obliging strategies. Their focus on inspiring teams and fostering strong relationships makes them natural collaborators during disputes. These leaders see conflict as an opportunity to rally people around shared goals, ensuring that all perspectives are considered.

Transactional leaders prefer compromising. They approach conflict with a practical mindset, focusing on what each party can offer and what they’re willing to concede. While this can resolve issues quickly, it might not encourage innovative solutions and may create a culture centred solely on problem-solving.

Laissez-faire leaders tend to avoid conflict, often leaving issues unresolved. Their hands-off approach assumes team members will manage disputes independently. While this might work with highly capable and self-driven teams, it can lead to unresolved tensions, a blame culture, and weakened team dynamics.

Authoritarian leaders typically adopt a competing style. They make decisions quickly and enforce compliance, which can be effective during crises. However, this approach can heighten workplace tension, reduce satisfaction, and erode trust.

Collaborative leaders focus on working together to resolve disputes, often using a collaborative approach. They actively involve all parties to find solutions that benefit the group, leading to higher employee satisfaction and more constructive outcomes.

Research into middle-level managers in private manufacturing firms supports these patterns. Transformational leaders often use integrating and obliging styles, transactional leaders favour compromising, and laissez-faire leaders lean towards avoidance.

These leadership styles provide practical frameworks for conflict resolution, offering insight into how different approaches impact resolution speed, relationships, and effectiveness.

Choosing the Right Approach for the Situation

The table below summarises how leadership styles align with conflict management, highlighting their speed, impact on relationships, and ideal contexts.

Transformational leadership shines in conflicts that present growth opportunities. These leaders inspire and build strong relationships, though their approach often takes time and resources, making it less suitable for urgent situations.

Transactional leadership is practical for straightforward disputes where both sides can negotiate clear trade-offs. However, its focus on immediate solutions might limit creativity.

Authoritarian leadership is invaluable in emergencies that demand quick decisions. Yet, its centralised nature can strain team dynamics and reduce trust.

Laissez-faire leadership can work with autonomous teams capable of self-management. However, its reluctance to address conflict directly can allow issues to fester, harming team cohesion.

Collaborative leadership, with its emphasis on open communication and joint problem-solving, often leads to higher satisfaction and more effective resolutions.

On average, leaders spend 24% of their time managing conflicts, highlighting the importance of selecting the right approach. As Peter Drucker wisely said:

"The only definition of a leader is someone who has followers"

How you handle conflict directly affects whether your team continues to trust and support your leadership. The best leaders adapt their style to the situation, understanding that flexibility is often the key to resolving disputes successfully.

How to Pick the Right Conflict Management Style

Choosing the right conflict management style involves understanding the situation's stakes, urgency, and the outcomes you aim to achieve.

What to Consider Before You Act

Start with the basics. Take the time to fully understand the conflict before stepping in. Identify the root cause and all the individuals involved. It's not just about the surface-level disagreement - it’s about uncovering the deeper issues driving it.

Think about urgency and importance. How quickly does this need to be resolved? How critical is the outcome to your organisation? For example, if a budget dispute is delaying an important campaign, a swift compromise - like a slight budget increase with strict cost controls - might be the best path forward.

Weigh the relationships at stake. Consider how your decision could affect long-term working relationships. Avoid solutions that might harm essential collaborations.

Understand power dynamics. Look at the hierarchy and influence of the people involved. A conflict between peers may call for a different approach than one involving a manager and their team member. Your method should include clear and honest communication, which is a cornerstone of strong leadership.

Consider your workplace culture. Some organisations encourage open debate and collaborative problem-solving, while others operate better with clear, top-down decisions. Your approach should reflect your company’s values and expectations.

Account for time and resources. Collaborative approaches can be effective but often require more time. In situations where quick action is needed, a direct approach might be more practical, even if it’s not your usual style.

"It is up to the leader to assess what action, if any, is needed and then intervene with the specific leadership function to meet the demand of the situation." - Peter Northouse

Listen to all perspectives. Hear out everyone involved, take note of their concerns, and look for any underlying issues that might not be immediately obvious.

By carefully considering these factors, you can choose a conflict resolution strategy that fits the situation's unique needs.

Why Flexibility Matters

Avoid a one-size-fits-all approach. Every conflict is different, and there’s no universal solution. Tailoring your approach to the specific challenges of the situation is key.

Learn the five conflict-handling styles. Each mode has its place:

• Compete for quick, decisive action.
• Collaborate to drive innovation.
• Compromise when time is tight.
• Accommodate to preserve relationships.
• Avoid when emotions are running high.

Know your default style. Understanding your go-to conflict style - and recognising those of others - helps you adjust when a different approach is needed.

Match the strategy to the conflict. Different types of disagreements require different methods. For instance, a technical debate among engineers might benefit from collaboration to utilise everyone’s expertise, while a personality clash may need more accommodation and efforts to rebuild trust.

Focus on positive outcomes. Conflict isn’t always a bad thing. Research suggests that around 76% of people experienced some kind of positive result from conflict.

Create a supportive environment. Regardless of the style you choose, ensure everyone feels safe to express their views. Building this sense of psychological safety encourages open dialogue and makes any conflict resolution approach more effective. This is essential for fostering trust and meaningful communication within the team.

Great leaders understand that flexibility in conflict management isn’t about being inconsistent - it’s about responding thoughtfully to each situation. When done well, this adaptability can turn conflict into a chance for growth and stronger relationships. As Ty Howard puts it, “A part of effective leadership is caring for and supporting one another, even when there is conflict or a difference of opinion.”

Conclusion: Getting Better at Conflict Resolution

As we’ve seen, your leadership style plays a crucial role in determining how conflicts unfold. Mastering conflict resolution doesn’t mean having all the answers - it’s about staying adaptable and self-aware. The best leaders recognise that conflict is unavoidable, but their approach determines whether it tears teams apart or becomes a stepping stone for growth.

Building Your Conflict Resolution Skills

The cornerstone of resolving conflicts effectively is knowing yourself first. Interestingly, research shows a stark contrast: while 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only about 15% actually are. This gap can be costly, especially in high-stakes situations where emotional reactions and hidden biases often dictate behaviour.

Self-awareness is a game-changer, boosting leadership effectiveness by 32%. When you understand your emotional responses, you can pause, evaluate, and choose the most appropriate way to handle conflict.

"The key to consciously accessing the emotional brain lies in self-awareness." – Joseph LeDoux

To enhance self-awareness, consider tools like journaling, seeking feedback, or practising mindfulness. These habits not only help you recognise your emotional triggers but also make you a more effective leader.

Great leaders also master the art of using all five conflict management styles. They know when to compete for a quick decision, collaborate for creative problem-solving, compromise under time constraints, accommodate to maintain relationships, or step back to let emotions settle. This flexibility allows them to respond thoughtfully, tailoring their approach to the specific needs of each situation.

With these skills, conflicts stop being obstacles and start becoming opportunities.

Turning Conflict into Opportunity

The most effective leaders view conflict as a chance to grow. When managed well, disagreements can spark creativity, clarify misunderstandings, rebuild trust, and strengthen self-awareness within teams.

Creating the right environment is essential. Encourage psychological safety so team members feel comfortable sharing differing opinions. Set clear guidelines for addressing conflicts, ensuring the focus stays on problem-solving rather than blame.

Prioritise open, honest communication built on trust and mutual respect. When conflicts arise, dig deeper to uncover the root causes instead of just treating the symptoms. Use these moments to show that diverse perspectives are valued and that working through challenges together leads to stronger, more united teams.

Sustainable success thrives on trust. When team members know they can rely on each other and feel accountable for their contributions, conflicts become less about division and more about collaboration.

In today’s fast-paced workplace, the most successful leaders don’t see conflict as a failure. Instead, they see it as a chance to prove their dedication to finding solutions that benefit everyone involved. By growing your self-awareness, staying adaptable, and focusing on constructive outcomes, you can turn conflict into a powerful tool for building resilient, innovative teams.

FAQs

How can leaders choose the best conflict management style for different situations?

To choose the best way to handle conflict, leaders need to assess the situation carefully. Factors like the type of conflict, the people involved, and the goals they want to achieve all play a role. Key things to think about include:

• How important the issue is
• The level of emotional tension in the conflict
• Whether teamwork or assertiveness is needed

For instance, a collaborative approach is ideal for building strong, long-term relationships or tackling complex problems. In contrast, avoiding or accommodating styles might suit smaller disagreements or situations where maintaining peace is the priority. By adapting their strategy to the specific context, leaders can help their teams find effective and lasting solutions.

What are the risks of depending too much on one conflict management style as a leader?

Relying on just one way to handle conflicts can cause serious problems for both leaders and their teams. For example, if you always avoid conflict, unresolved issues might grow into bigger problems. On the other hand, being overly competitive in disputes can damage trust and weaken teamwork.

This kind of imbalance can strain relationships, disrupt team harmony, and make it harder to find effective solutions. To lead successfully, you need to use a variety of conflict management approaches tailored to each situation. This not only helps resolve disputes but also strengthens team bonds in the process.

How can understanding your leadership style improve conflict resolution?

Understanding how you lead can make a big difference in how you handle conflicts, primarily by boosting your self-awareness. When you're more aware of your emotions and reactions, it's easier to stay calm and tackle challenges with a clear head.

Knowing your natural leadership tendencies allows you to adjust your approach depending on the situation - whether that means working together, finding middle ground, or standing firm. It also sharpens your ability to empathise and communicate clearly, which are key ingredients for building trust and strengthening team connections. The result? More productive outcomes and a workplace that feels more balanced and cooperative.

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