How to Lead When the Message Isn’t Yours
Learn how to navigate tough conversations as a leader, ensuring clear communication and empathy when delivering difficult news.
Delivering tough news you didn’t choose can be one of the hardest parts of leadership. Whether it’s restructuring, budget cuts, or a strategic shift, your role isn’t just to repeat the message - it’s to make it clear, relatable, and honest for your team. Done poorly, it risks damaging trust and morale. Done well, it builds connection and understanding.
Here’s the crux: employees trust their direct managers more than senior leaders. This makes your role critical in bridging the gap between organisational decisions and your team’s day-to-day concerns. To do this effectively, you need to:
- Understand the intent behind the message, so you can explain the "why" as much as the "what".
- Prepare for questions - both practical ones (timelines, impacts) and emotional ones (job security, values).
- Connect the message to shared goals and values, so it feels relevant and purposeful.
- Deliver with honesty and empathy, balancing your personal voice with the organisation’s direction.
This guide offers practical steps to help you navigate these tricky conversations, maintain trust, and lead with clarity - even when the message isn’t yours.
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Preparing to Deliver the Message
After exploring the leader's role, the next step is ensuring your preparation is solid. Delivering a message effectively requires more than just knowing the facts - it’s about understanding the message deeply, predicting how it will land, and linking it to your team’s shared beliefs. Let’s break this process into manageable steps.
Understanding the Intent Behind the Message
To communicate effectively, you need to dig beneath the surface of the message. It’s not just about what’s being said but why it matters and how it ties into broader goals.
Start by asking yourself: What issue does this message address? What outcomes are expected? How does it align with strategic objectives? If you can’t confidently answer these questions, take the time to clarify before speaking to your team.
Understanding the bigger picture is key. Look into the factors driving the decision and be ready to explain them. If anything remains unclear, don’t hesitate to seek clarification from senior leadership. Ask for concrete examples, timelines, and expected results - these details will be invaluable when your team starts asking pointed questions.
Be mindful of nuances that could lead to misunderstandings. For instance, there’s a world of difference between saying, “We’re exploring options,” and “We’ve made a decision.” Subtle distinctions like these can drastically affect how your team interprets the message and their level of concern.
Preparing for Questions and Concerns
Once you’ve grasped the message, it’s time to anticipate your team’s reactions. Being prepared for questions and concerns is vital. As Mary Sharp Emerson of Harvard DCE suggests:
"Before entering into any conversation, brainstorm potential questions, requests for additional information or clarification, and disagreements so you are ready to address them calmly and clearly".
Tailor your preparation to specific concerns. Different groups may have different priorities, so customise your approach accordingly.
Have all the details at your fingertips. For example, if you’re announcing changes to work arrangements, be ready to discuss timelines, available support, and how success will be measured. Similarly, if it’s about budget cuts, provide clarity on which areas are impacted and which remain untouched.
Think beyond surface-level questions. While you might get straightforward queries about dates or procedures, you should also prepare for deeper concerns about job security, career growth, or work–life balance. Addressing both practical and emotional aspects will help you communicate more effectively.
Expect the unexpected. No matter how well you prepare, surprises will come up. A strong understanding of the message’s intent and context will help you respond thoughtfully to unforeseen questions.
It’s also worth reflecting on your organisation’s communication history. If previous announcements have been poorly handled or promises have gone unfulfilled, your team may approach the news with scepticism. Acknowledging this upfront and explaining how this time will be different can help rebuild trust.
Connecting the Message to Company Values
Effective communication doesn’t just pass along information - it connects new developments to the values your team already supports. This approach can turn challenging news into something that feels aligned with the organisation’s purpose.
Start by identifying which company values relate to the message. For instance, if innovation is a key value and you’re rolling out new technology, highlight how this change reflects that commitment. If transparency is central to your culture, emphasise how the communication process upholds that principle.
Frame the message positively. Even difficult updates can be positioned as steps toward goals your team cares about. For example, changes might be described as necessary for long-term stability or as a way to improve efficiency and reduce frustrations.
Use language that reflects the company’s mission. If your organisation prioritises customer focus, explain how the changes benefit customers. If continuous improvement is a theme, present the message as part of that ongoing journey.
Make sure the connections to company values are genuine. Forced or unnatural links will be obvious to your team and could undermine trust. If the connections don’t feel authentic, take more time to understand the message’s purpose.
Finally, remember that different values resonate with different people. Some team members might be motivated by innovation and growth, while others may value community and support. Preparing multiple ways to tie the message to your organisation’s core principles ensures it connects with everyone. By doing so, you set the stage for a message that’s both clear and empathetic, fostering trust and alignment.
Communicating with Honesty and Empathy
Once you've prepared thoroughly, the next step is delivering your message in a way that feels genuine and compassionate. Striking the right balance between organisational priorities and your personal authenticity is key to maintaining trust and connection with your team.
Balancing Personal Voice with Company Direction
When communicating, it's important to align your personal voice with the organisation's values. This doesn't mean losing your individuality - it means finding common ground between your authentic style and the company's messaging.
Start by pinpointing parts of the message that resonate with your personal values. Even in challenging conversations, there are likely aspects you can stand behind, such as being transparent, addressing employee concerns, or sharing a clear vision for the future.
Stick to your natural tone. A sudden shift to overly formal language can feel jarring and inconsistent, and your team will pick up on it. If you're feeling uncertain yourself, acknowledge it. For example, you might say, "I know this raises questions about where we're headed, and I’ve had similar thoughts. Let me share what I do know and how we can navigate this together." Being honest doesn’t mean oversharing - it’s about being upfront about what you know, admitting what you don’t, and showing your commitment to supporting both your team and the organisation.
Using Stories to Build Connection
Stories are a powerful way to make your message resonate. Research shows people remember stories far better than facts - 22 times better, in fact. This makes storytelling an invaluable tool for translating organisational decisions into something relatable.
Look for moments to weave in relevant anecdotes that help explain the context or reasoning behind your message. These could include examples from your own experiences, stories of how teams have successfully adapted to change, or situations that highlight why certain decisions had to be made.
Keep your stories straightforward and meaningful. Emotion is a vital part of connecting with your audience, so sharing personal experiences or examples can help evoke the right feelings and create a sense of unity. However, authenticity is key - don’t force a story if it doesn’t feel natural. Choose examples that align with your message and reflect shared experiences.
Practising your storytelling can also make a big difference. Even a short anecdote benefits from having a clear structure with a beginning, middle, and end. Make sure each story ties back to your main message, reinforcing the points you’re trying to convey.
Recognising Emotional Impact
Delivering messages that affect people's work lives often stirs up strong emotions. Acknowledging these responses is essential for maintaining trust and helping your team move forward.
Be prepared for emotional reactions - they’re a normal part of processing difficult news or change. Allow your team some breathing room to absorb what you’ve shared before diving into next steps. This pause shows respect for their feelings and the gravity of the situation.
When team members share their reactions, practise active listening. Focus on understanding their perspective rather than rushing to respond. Simple phrases like, "I can see why this is upsetting", or "I understand why this feels overwhelming", can go a long way in showing empathy.
It’s important to validate emotions without necessarily agreeing with every concern. For instance, you might say, "It’s completely understandable to be worried about how this might impact your workload." This approach acknowledges their feelings while maintaining your role in delivering the organisation’s message.
Expect a range of responses. Some team members may express anger, others worry, and some might seem unaffected. Don’t assume silence equals acceptance - many people need time to process before they’re ready to engage. Following up individually can uncover deeper insights and provide an opportunity to offer additional support where needed.
Next, we’ll look at practical strategies for handling challenging feedback.
Managing Difficult Reactions and Feedback
No matter how well you prepare, challenging reactions are bound to happen. The way you handle these moments can shape your reputation as a leader and guide your team towards a more constructive path.
Addressing Resistance with Openness
When team members push back, it’s natural to feel defensive or tempted to shut the discussion down. But resistance often signals that your team is invested and seeking clarity. Instead of closing off, approach these moments with curiosity.
Start by managing your own reaction. Take a deep breath to centre yourself before responding. Focus on observable facts rather than assumptions or accusations. For example, rather than saying, "You're being unreasonable about this change", try, "I understand this isn't what you expected. Can you share more about what’s behind this new requirement?" Use 'I' statements to express your perspective, such as, "I'm concerned about meeting our deadline", instead of placing blame.
Honesty is equally important. If you don’t have all the answers, admit it and commit to finding out more. Transparency builds trust.
Active Listening and Flexible Responses
Active listening is your best ally during tough conversations. Give your full attention and resist the urge to start formulating your response while the other person is speaking. Ask clarifying questions like, "Have I understood you correctly?" and paraphrase their concerns, for example, "I can see this delay is frustrating. Let’s discuss what we can realistically achieve with the time we have."
Non-verbal cues, such as maintaining eye contact and nodding, show you’re engaged and present. Remember, each team member’s experience is unique, so adapt your approach to their specific needs. If a conversation becomes overwhelming, use calming techniques such as the 4-4-4 method (identify four things you can see, four you can hear, and move four parts of your body) or box breathing (inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four).
However, there are times when flexibility and listening aren’t enough, and knowing when to escalate is just as vital.
When to Escalate Feedback
If active listening and tailored responses don’t resolve the issue, it may be necessary to escalate. Not every concern can be addressed immediately, and some situations require higher-level intervention.
Escalate concerns involving breaches of workplace policies, such as discrimination, harassment, safety violations, or ethical dilemmas. If a problem can’t be resolved in the moment or requires further input, schedule a follow-up meeting to gather more information and consult with senior leaders or HR.
Keep a record of these conversations, especially when they involve serious concerns or heightened emotions. Documentation provides a clear reference if further action is needed. When escalating, stick to factual observations rather than interpretations, and be transparent with your team about the process. This shows that you’re advocating for them while ensuring the issue is addressed responsibly.
Escalation isn’t about passing the buck - it’s about connecting team concerns with the right resources and decision-makers to drive meaningful action.
Learning and Growing as a Leader
Delivering messages on behalf of others is a skill that requires constant refinement. These moments, particularly the challenging ones, offer opportunities to sharpen your leadership style and reveal your strengths.
Reviewing Your Delivery and Impact
After a difficult conversation, take a moment to reflect on how you handled it. Did you fully grasp the intent of the message before passing it on? Were you able to align the news with your team's values and objectives? Think about whether your tone matched the seriousness of the situation and whether you gave your team enough context to understand and process the message.
Pay close attention to how your tone, context, and emotions came across. Did you show empathy while maintaining a strong leadership presence?
"Self-awareness is about developing your capacity to sense how you're coming across - to have undistorted visibility into your own strengths and weaknesses - and to be able to gauge the emotions you're personally experiencing. If you're going to mobilise others to get things done, you can't let your own emotions get in the way." – Joshua Margolis, Harvard Business School Professor
Feedback from colleagues or team members can provide a fresh perspective on your communication style. Sometimes, the way we think we’re coming across doesn’t match how others perceive us. Ask specific questions like, “How did I come across during that announcement?” or “What could I have done differently to help the team process that news better?”
Documenting your reflections can be incredibly useful. Use a simple framework: note what went well, what you found difficult, and what you’d approach differently next time. Over time, this creates a valuable resource to guide you in handling future conversations with confidence and clarity.
Building Your Leadership Voice
Every message you deliver contributes to shaping your leadership voice. Authenticity is key - lead in a way that feels true to who you are, while maintaining professionalism.
Consistency in how you communicate builds trust within your team. This doesn’t mean being inflexible, but rather establishing a dependable approach to sharing information, addressing concerns, and following through on commitments. When your team knows what to expect from you, it provides a sense of stability, even during uncertain times.
Adaptability is another essential skill. Tailor your message to suit different audiences without losing your core voice. For example, an announcement for senior leaders might require a different tone and framing than one for new team members. However, your values and communication principles should remain consistent.
Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of effective leadership. Research highlights that 90% of top performers possess high emotional intelligence. It’s also said to have twice the influence of IQ and technical skills when it comes to individual success.
Using Resources for Continuous Improvement
To enhance your leadership skills, combine self-reflection with external resources. Developing your communication abilities will help you navigate tough moments with greater ease.
Assessment tools can provide valuable insights into your leadership style, helping you identify both your natural strengths and areas for growth. When selecting tools, think about factors like cost, reliability, and how they apply to your specific leadership challenges.
"Your internal and external networks are important leadership assets. They're how you gain access to resources like information, know-how, and funding that are crucial in enabling you to help those you're leading. Networks also foster your learning by connecting you to people in organisations with different skills, perspectives, and contexts than your own." – Anthony Mayo, HBS Professor
Platforms like Leadership Story Bank offer practical resources to help you refine your storytelling and communication skills. These tools can be especially useful when delivering difficult messages, equipping you with strategies to connect with your team effectively. Regular engagement with such resources helps you build a toolkit of techniques to use during high-pressure situations.
Incorporate practice into your development plan. Volunteer to present updates at meetings, take on cross-functional projects, or seek assignments that challenge your comfort zone. Each of these experiences strengthens your communication skills and builds confidence.
Leadership development is a journey, not a final destination. The most effective leaders see every difficult conversation as a chance to grow and make a greater impact. By integrating feedback and focused learning into your routine, you can continually refine your approach to communication and leadership.
Conclusion: Leading with Purpose and Presence
Leading when the message comes from elsewhere calls for leadership that is grounded in sincerity and empathy, especially during challenging times. Dr. Shirley Davis, president and CEO of SDS Global Enterprises, Inc., captures this perfectly:
"Authenticity as being true to your best self and genuine in your actions and your words. Second, it is demonstrating the utmost degree of honesty, respect and openness in interactions, communications and decision-making. And third, it is having a great sense of self-awareness - knowing not only your strengths and your weaknesses but also living your values."
This kind of leadership fosters trust and engagement when it’s needed the most.
Preparation makes all the difference. By understanding the purpose behind the message, tying it to your organisation’s core values, and anticipating the concerns of your team, you move beyond simply delivering information. Instead, you step into the role of a leader who can navigate tough conversations with clarity and confidence. Such preparation ensures your message is not only heard but also felt, creating space for empathetic and meaningful interactions.
Empathy shifts the dynamic from compliance to genuine commitment. It’s not about being overly sympathetic - it’s about being effective. Consider this: over 80% of CEOs identify empathy as a critical component of success. When you actively listen to and address your team’s concerns, you foster a sense of connection that encourages engagement rather than passive agreement.
At the heart of it all is self-awareness. Recognising your own emotional triggers and aligning your communication with your values ensures that your message remains consistent and impactful. Each exchange becomes an opportunity to sharpen your leadership skills, build trust, and strengthen your ability to guide others.
The most effective leaders view cascaded communication as a chance to demonstrate their values under pressure. By combining meticulous preparation, genuine empathy, and honest delivery, you don’t just pass along a message - you lead with purpose and presence. This approach provides the stability your team needs during uncertain times, bridging the gap between organisational goals and team alignment.
FAQs
How can I stay authentic while delivering difficult news on behalf of the company?
Delivering difficult news that originates from someone else can feel like walking a tightrope, but it’s entirely possible to balance sincerity with the company’s message. Start by acknowledging the emotions at play - both yours and your audience's. A tone that shows empathy and understanding is key, so steer clear of language that feels overly formal or detached.
Be straightforward and honest, sticking to the main points of the company’s message without complicating or glossing over the reality. Adding a personal note can make a big difference - simple phrases like 'I know this may be hard to hear' can help convey genuine care.
Lastly, work on building trust. If you can, share the reasoning behind the decision and be open to hearing people’s thoughts or concerns. By combining honesty, empathy, and professionalism, you can maintain your credibility while staying true to the organisation’s objectives.
How can I help my team understand the link between difficult organisational decisions and our shared goals?
Clear and transparent communication is key to helping your team understand how tough decisions tie into shared goals. Take the time to explain how these choices reflect your organisation's core values and support its long-term vision. A great way to make this connection more engaging is through storytelling - sharing examples that resonate can inspire a stronger sense of purpose among your team.
Encourage an open dialogue by welcoming questions and genuinely listening to concerns. Demonstrating empathy and understanding fosters trust and helps your team feel heard. This approach not only keeps everyone aligned with organisational objectives but also boosts morale and strengthens collaboration across the board.
How can I effectively address my team's concerns when delivering difficult news about changes to their roles or workload?
When sharing difficult news, it's important to approach the situation with empathy and honesty. Recognise the emotional weight such news might carry and let your team know that their feelings are both understood and respected. Clear and open communication is essential - explain the reasons behind the changes with as much detail as you can.
Take the time to listen carefully to any concerns or questions your team may have, and make an effort to provide support. This could mean directing them to helpful resources, encouraging honest conversations, or simply being available for a chat. Keeping a calm and steady tone will go a long way in building trust and providing a sense of stability during uncertain moments.